i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
