3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
