i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
