is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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