I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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