Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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