i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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