remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
