Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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