your thong is hanging out like whoa
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
