Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
