your room smells of hookers.
And success
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
