You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
