That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
