So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
