what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
