FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
