god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize