thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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