i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am one with the molecules
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
