i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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