Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
