do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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