Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
