Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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