we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize