Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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