he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
