Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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