whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
