he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Let's get the cat blown out
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
