Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Randomize
