rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize