wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
