You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
