Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
