Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He shit in the fireplace
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize