Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
