If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
