3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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