The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
