i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize