The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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