...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize