I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
