You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
