is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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