just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
