Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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