even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize