I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
