what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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