On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
