the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
