I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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