...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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