Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
