laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
