i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
