Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
