haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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