wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
