never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
