hell yes lets make some ravioli
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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